May I?

Mommy needs to vent. May I?

The last couple of days have been completely crazy. It all started on Tuesday night. Jaxon had checked out well at his 6 month check-up, but really started feeling bad on Tuesday night. He was pulling at his ears, coughing and acted like it really hurt him to swallow. I took him to Bridgette's Wednesday morning, and he didn't have a good day there. The little man just didn't feel good. When I picked him up, one look at him told me that he was sick.

So, off we went, back to the doctor. He was screaming as we walked into the pediatricians office. I asked to see doctor Whitson, but the receptionist told me that she was already gone for the day, and that I could see, well, let's just call him Dr. I (I for Idiot, of course). At this point, I think to myself, we just need an antibiotic, and it really doesn't matter who calls it in for us at this point. So I agree. They take us back to one of the little rooms, and Jax continues to scream at the top of his lungs for the next 30 minutes. Nothing helped. I walked, I rocked, I sang, I offered him his bottle, which he, very loudly turned down... Then in walks Dr. I. He asks me what's wrong with the baby. I explain about his ears and throat and that he won't eat. He cuts me off and asks, "Is he running a fever (in a very Indian accent)?" I tell him no. He says, "Then why did you bring him in?" So here goes Mom again, telling all of his symptoms, in a complete recap of what I had just told him. Dr. I looks very annoyingly at me and goes to get the little thing that doctors look into ears with. When he goes to put it in Jaxon's ear, like all babies, Jaxon's hand swiped him away. Dr. I then grabs my arm, and very forcefully places it on top of Jaxon's and says, "Hold it down!" This scares Jax even more and he cries even louder. Dr. I asks, "What's his name." I say, "Jaxon." Then he decides he'll yell at the baby. "Jaxon, Jaxon, Jaxon..." My eyes fill up with tears. I've about had it. He says, "Both of his ears are red like cherries." Then I lay him up on the table for Dr. I to look at his throat. Listen guys, I'm not exaggerating. It was this bad. The idiot grabs my little boy by both sides of his head, and spins him toward him by only holding his head! I'm not joking. I burst out in tears, pick him up, and start walking to the door. He tells me that he has an ear infection in both ears and red throat. I didn't stick around to see what else he had to say. I was crying as hard as my sick baby was. Oh, yea, and he also told me that the reason Jaxon has a double ear infection is because he doesn't blow his nose enough. I'm sorry, but I didn't realize that 6 month olds knew how to blow their nose... I've been trying to teach him how though.

So... Wednesday night, I had a very sick baby on my hands. He started running a fever and was extremely clingy to his Mommy. Thursday morning, I was taking Jaxon to Mom's before school. It was her day to watch him. Mom ended up sending me to the doctor (not Dr. I of course) because I have a "bite" on my stomach that is very painful and starting to look very infected. I go see Dr. Jones and he gives me two antibiotics for the infection. He says that if they are not gone by Monday to come back and that he would have to drain them... gross.

So last night, little man decides that he's ready to go to bed at 8:15. I knew in the back of my mind that this wasn't a good idea, but I was so exhausted that I decided to go to sleep too. However, at 2 o'clock this morning, Jaxon woke up and was convinced that it was morning time. I put him in bed with us and he played with me until 3. At 3, I inform Justin that I have to have some sleep, so I leave the boys in the bed, and I head to the couch. I slept on the couch until 4:45 and then Justin yells at me to come back to bed because he can't get Jax to go to sleep or to stop crying. So I get back in bed, turn all the lights off and our room is pitch dark. Jaxon is sitting straight up in the middle of the bed in between us, playing with his toes. After a few minutes, I guess he realizes that no one will play with him, and he can't see anything, so he lays his head back and goes to sleep... crazy kid.

So now, here I am. Super tired. I hope my baby is at home, feeling better than I am. Yes, he has been very uncomfortable, yes he has had pain and oh my has he been fussy, but, honestly? He has two ear infections and red throat. We are so lucky. There are about a thousand other things that could go wrong in his little perfect bodies that I worry about, and thousands more that I don't even know about and therefore can't worry about, thankfully. There are people in the world who had babies born this very day whose bodies don't look right, kids in the world who found out today that they have diabetes and will have to learn how to inject insulin in themselves at home, at school, at sleepovers...for the rest of their lives, and there are families in the world who learned today that the tumors or growths or low blood cell counts in the little bodies of the children they fiercely love meant exactly what they feared. Life changes like that on a dime. Fussy as he's been this week, we did not have a bad week. We had a perfectly mundane fussy, sick baby and I will gladly do it again and again because I know there are families that would do anything, anything, to have had the pleasure of the time I just spent with my child, in our home, knowing he will get better.

Thanks for letting me vent, friends.