A Weekend to Remember

Justin and I had the awesome opportunity to get away this past weekend and to attend FamilyLife's "A Weekend to Remember" in St. Louis. It was an amazing marriage conference, that I would recommend to any married couple, whether you've been married 4 years like us, 4 months like some, or 40 years like others...

This picture was taken Friday night, right before the first session began.

At this point, I had no idea what to expect from this conference, but I can assure you that I most certainly received a blessing.

If you don't mind, I would like to share with you some of the things that we were reminded of this weekend. If you do mind, well, you can feel free to discontinue reading this post. I feel that these things are important enough to share, so I'm going to share:

Session 1: Why Marriages Fail

We base everything on feelings and unfortuantely, just when we need them most, feelings seem to disappear. All marriages have difficulties. Life is so hard because we expect it to be so easy. Five reasons that marriages fail are difficult adjustments, our culture's pattern, inevitable difficulties, extramarital affairs (which I learned can be so so much more than having a physical affair.), and selfishness.

Session 2: Communication

We are always learning. We should never bring anger from the past into the present. We should learn to listen without thinking about what we are going to say next (This one is huge for me!). We need to focus on what's being said and not how it is being said. And we need to give up transparency for the sake of harmony. We should always speak in a way that encourages our spouse.

Session 3: Unlocking the Mystery of Marriage

Our purpose is to mirror the image of God. We should reflect and magnify His attributes. We should complete one another. Good parenting is a result of a good marriage. Children need a secure environment and if they don't see security in the marriage of their parents, they will not feel safe. This session particuarly talked about remembering that our spouse is not our enemy!

Session 4: From How to Wow

We have to establish independence from our parents. God's provision for us is perfect. We have to trust God with the gift that He gave us- our spouse. Do we trust God enough to know that He knows what's best for us, and that He has given us what is best for us? We must truly become one flesh. Growing toward oneness makes it possible for a man and a woman as a couple to become more than they ever could have been apart. We must strive daily to put the needs of our spouse above our own needs.

At this point in the conference, our assignment was to write a love letter to our spouse. This was one of the most exhilerating parts of the conference for me.

Session 5: What every Marriage Needs

Without a relationship with God, it is impossible for any marriage to thrive the way that God intended for it to.

Session 6: We Fight Too

Conflict is a reality, so to avoid conflict is to avoid reality. The goal of marriage is not to be conflict free but to handle conflict correctly when it occurs. We must be willing to seek forgiveness and to grant forgiveness. We shouldn't worry so much about being right- we should just worry about being Christ-like. It's really hard to be angry with someone if you're praying for them. We have to be willing to talk it out (also something I'm not very good at). We need to discipline ourselves to respond instead of react. Kind words life each other up. Be intentional.

Session 7: Marriage After Dark

This was definitely the most interesting session, and much more graphic and informational than I ever dreamed it would be... ha ha. Better communication and better companionship lead to better sex. God wants His children to have great sex. We must go to extreme measures to protect our sexual relationship. We must make sex a priority in our relationship and most great sex happens because you're great friends.

After this session, we were instructed to go on a date night. Justin knew this before time, so he already had reservations at a nice restaurant for us to eat at. After dinner the plan was to take a horse-drawn carriage ride through the city. We rode the metro to where we thought we were supposed to go, and ended up taking a long (cold) walk through a very scary part of St. Louis before we gave up, got back on the Metro, came back to the hotel for ice cream (for him) and a fruit smoothie (for me, the diabetic) and then back to our hotel room.

The next two pictures were taken on our long, cold, scary walk through the city.

Session 8: Woman to Woman
The men and women split up for this particular session and discussed our roles as husband/father and wife/mother. I really enjoyed this session, and received a huge blessing from it. I was reminded that it should always be God first, my husband second and my children third. Justin is the leader in our marriage and I am his helper and his completer. As the wife and the mother, I have the responsibility to set the tone in my home. A woman's home is the place where she can change the world. I should respect my husband and make sure that he daily knows that I'm proud of him. I must pray for my children and practice grace-based parenting. I must be consistent in my disciplining of my children. I need to hug Jaxon and love him every day. I need to be a student of my childs.
Session 9: How Marriages Thrive
I am called to love an imperfect person, unconditionally, for a lifetime. If you don't feel like loving, love anyway. I feel safe because I know that Justin is commited to Christ even more than he is commited to me.
Session 10: Leaving a Legacy
Never give up. Never give in. Make sure your family is equipped for the fight. What I do today will affect future generations.

But seriously guys, I recommend this conference. Liberty girls, start saving up your money. Justin and I really feel called to take an entire group from church to this event next year. Start praying about it now- I promise this is an event that you will not regret and an experience that you will always remember...